Reasons to be cheerful....part 1

I've been feeling cautiously optimistic lately.

A number of factors have been behind this.

One is that a period of debilitating depression has finally lifted. I don't know for how long, but, for now it has gone, and I'm enjoying life again.

This in itself is a reason to be cheerful. Like opening the curtains after a long, cold night to see sunshine and to feel a warm breeze, coming out of depression makes you see the positive in everything, and gives you a reason to forge forward again.

Not a great deal has changed around me. I'm still me. I still live in the same place. I still have the same job, with its long commute, relatively low pay (compared with what I had before I got depressed) and its temporary nature.

The difference is that I now accept my situation for what it is. I don't try to fight it. I don't wish I was somewhere else, or wish that I was living the better days of my past. I now realise that I am in the present, and that I am empowered to shape my future into whatever I want it to be.

I am happy with who I am, what I surround myself with and what I represent.

I also recognise the power of possibility. I am free to do whatever I want with the rest of my life, who I chose to be with, and how I spend my resources, whether it be money, emotions, time or love.

The next chapter of my life begins everytime my head lifts from my pillow. No matter what frustrations today throws at me, tomorrow can always throw something different, whether it be better or worse.

The possibility of change is exciting, challenging and enriching. There will always be new things to learn and experience. There will be new people to meet.

This in itself is a reason to be cheerful - no matter how mundane the day might be, it's still unique, and I'm still developing.

Only forward.......

Learning To Be Happy With Less

In the West, we are pretty much programmed from birth to consume. Our well-being is tied up in 'if only I had that new car/house/handbag/mobile phone/games console I'd be happy'. Its an old, old paradox.

The yearning for a shiny new item of fluff becomes like a drug. It governs our every waking moment - the anticipation of how great life will be once we possess the object of our desire.

Eventually the day comes. The object of our desire is in our sweaty little hands. 'At last!' we think, 'my life will change for the better, now that I have my dream object!!'

However, after a few weeks parading our new paramour to friends and acquaintances, something odd, and highly disappointing happens.

The novelty wears off. All of a sudden our new shiny 'thing' looses it's lustre. We drop our new mobile phone and chip the casing, or we trip and scuff our new shoes. The new car gets dirty, or a scratch down the side....

The dream is over. On to the next object of our desire......

Marketing, advertising, peer pressure ('what do you mean your phone can't take pictures' - 'you like listening to vinyl records?'). Has made many in society yearn for the latest thing. It allows them to bond with others within their social strata, or to join a higher social group to which they aspire.

What many people in the West don't realise is that whatever we throw away ends up not in landfill, but in India, South America, China and so on, to be recycled. Often the work is carried out by young children, who live within the rubbish dumps filled with our old technological fashion faux pas.

The average computer circuit board contains heavy metals such as mercury, lead and cadmium. The old CRT TV sets we are frantically throwing out because they are 'old fashioned', also contain a large proportion of lead in their circuits.

And yet, there is no need to throw our old stuff away because it is just old-fashioned. As far as technology goes, major advancement in new technology slowed to a halt in the 1980s, with the introduction of inexpensive digital communication technology. Apart from wireless internet connections, I can't think of a single technological advancement made in the last 10 years that I can honestly say has seen lives in the West transformed in the same way as, for example, the invention of the telephone itself, or the introduction of affordable motoring.

In short, the 'advances' of the last 10 years or so amount to little more than technological flim flam, designed to con gullible consumers into believing that having a bigger, flat screen TV, or surround-sound speakers, or a device which allows them to store 3,000 of their favorite songs is going to enrich their lives. Believe me, they most certainly don't.

This probably makes me sound like a luddite. I'm not. I trained to be a product designer, my main aim being to produce the objects of desire of the future.

However, I'm all grown up now, and I can see that endlessly cycling product ranges has a negative effect on our society, ecology and mental wellbeing.

Looking around my house, I see all of the usual items we all take for granted - TV, VCR, Games Console, Hi-Fi, Microwave and so on....and I'm satisfied with all that I have. I don't yearn for more, newer, shinier, more fashionable bits of fluff.

I guess that having less income was originally the driver behind this ending of any desire to accumulate more stuff. I have to make what I have last longer, and I have to be more prudent in my choices in the first place to ensure that my money goes further.

The unexpected effect is a kind of contentment in knowing that I have all I need, that I'm happy with what I have, and that through a longterm interaction with the items I have around me, an enjoyment in using the familiar, and knowing that it works well.

It also means that I am able to tap into the world that many feel is inferior. That of the secondhand. I stopped buying brand new stuff sometime ago, again mainly through lack of funds to buy new. And I'm delighted to take on other's castoffs. I'm also glad that I have saved a number of perfectly good consumer items ending up on a rubbish tip in Mumbai.

I've rambled on a little, with no real structure on this post.

I guess the message to you is - think carefully about what you buy.

Buy the best quality (new or used) that you can.

Question whether the device you are buying is really going to change your life (I'm thinking of those who upgrade mobile phones every 3 months, only to still have a device that receives and makes phone calls!!).

Think even harder about what will happen to your discarded (and probably perfectly serviceable) old items.

Even better, learn to be happy with less!

A tribute to a dear departed friend

Blimey, it really is a time for goodbyes, this New Year.

I found out on New Year's Eve that a dear friend of mine had died suddenly. He was a man who I met through my old job, about 5 years ago. We hit it off immediately.

He was much older than me, but had a youthful spirit, and a twinkle in his eye that meant that he very much saw life as something you must grasp with both hands and live as if it could end at any moment. He had a stroke about 10 years ago, and had made pretty much a full recovery, and he was determined to live it to the full.

He lived in a village in Northamptonshire, the same one he was born in, and his love for the place was inspiring. He lived with his wife in a beautiful 17th century house, where we shared many evenings, and bottles of wine, sat by a log fire.

His stories about his life were nothing short of being 'ripping yarns', full of adventure, travel and joy.

His wisdom and knowledge of just about everything was vast, and never dull. He would entertain us for hours, on any subject.

His love and generosity was legendary, as was his compassion. Many a time he was on hand to encourage us when times got hard, a relationship hit the buffers, or work got too stressful.

He lived for his lovely wife, family, grandchildren and his beloved horses and dogs.

But above all else he loved good food and drink. He was a walking encyclopedia of recipes, ingredients, good wines and his favorite tipple, single malt (of which he kept various bottles hidden in the shed, so his wife wouldn't find them - she always did, but turned a blind eye!).

I will always be proud to call him my friend, and I miss him greatly.

Fly away little bird

My ex-girlfriend has been travelling and volunteering in India and Nepal for the last 6 months. Her going away hurt so much at first, I thought I may never recover from it. But, deep down I knew that she would never return, that once she gained her confidence, she would make it her life's mission to keep moving.

Our alliance was only ever going to be temporary, and deep down I knew it. That knowledge always meant that deep down I always held something back, out of self-preservation. At the time it was the catalyst for our parting. In hindsight, it was precisely the right thing to do, adding the old adage, 'if you love someone, set them free'.

I've encountered many different people during my life, some good, some downright boring, and some toxic. My ex-girlfriend is something very special. A true free spirit, who knows her own mind, is full of guts and determination, and has a heart as big as a mountain.

I may never see her again, or even hear from her, but I know she'll be more than ok out there in the big, wide world.

And I wish her nothing but love, peace, happiness and fulfillment, wherever she finds it.

Fly free my little bird.