It's all starting to come together.....

I said at the beginning of this blog that the main purpose of writing it is to try and find out who I am, and what makes up my identity.

If you remember, my dilemma was that I had spent so long trying to please others that I had eroded my own identity to the point where I no longer knew who I was, what I represented or where I was going.

That lack of understanding of my own identity scared me - I felt like an empty vessel.

Of course, part of the reason for feeling that way was down to depression, the unraveling of my life (which it turns out was built on sand), and a lack of assertiveness on my part.

I'd allowed myself to be swallowed up in everybody else's grand plan, but had forgotten to formularise one of my own.

However, now that I am beginning to feel better about myself, I'm slowly starting to feel my identity coming back. As the title of this post says - it's all starting to come together.

The really good thing about this realisation is the potential that it offers. This really is a fresh chapter in my life, one which is completely unplanned, and one which can take me in whatever direction I choose.

I realise that no-one has the right to shape my life for me, and I no longer have to prove anything to anyone, other than myself.

It's tremendously liberating!

I feel like the 'reset' button has been pressed. I'm still me, just 'different'.

What I have found is that I am no longer prepared to put up with the mediocre. I can no longer tolerate people, activities or situations which do not suit me. This does not mean that I have closed off parts of my life. Not at all. I am simply more discerning in my choices.

I feel as though I have shifted up a gear, and that whatever has happened to me in the past has shaped a new me. I am the sum of my experience, knowledge and wisdom. I am unique. I have just as much right to a happy and fulfilled life as anyone else. I no longer have any reason to be ashamed of myself, or to hide myself away.

As I'm beginning to get to know the new me, I like it more and more.

It's still very early days, and I have a long way to go yet.

But I really do feel that it's starting to come together.......